


Glimpses of Selves

by boyfrienemy



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28603053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boyfrienemy/pseuds/boyfrienemy
Summary: Light helps L get some sleep for once.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 3
Kudos: 138





	Glimpses of Selves

The time stands at 1:14 am. The Ryuzaki manor had been quiet since 10 pm, but two busy bodies, sworn to their duties, kept themselves up until recently. The two had just finished readying themselves to lie down; they brushed their teeth, changed into more comfortable clothing, and were now tying loose ends with shuffling some papers around their room to the side and closing laptops for the night. 

Sitting on the end of the left side of the bed, L lets out a loud yawn, his back straightening momentarily as he stretches before allowing himself to slump over again. The handcuffs linking the two jingle for a moment as Light, standing on the right side of the bed, fiddles with the watch around his wrist before taking it off and setting it on his nightstand.

“See? You  _ are  _ tired.” Light coos, shooting L a worried glance as the two lock gazes for a moment. L shrugs his shoulders and scoots himself onto the bed further with his legs, shuffling until he’s sitting against his pillow, knees folded to his chest and arms wrapped securely around them. 

“I’d argue with you, but I actually am a bit tired tonight.” His toes curl before he stretches them out. “Whether I’ll actually be able to sleep is another matter, though.”

Light purses his lips a little, concern still stone in the form of furrowed eyebrows. He lets out a sigh and flicks his lamp off before he plops down onto the bed. He straightens out his long-sleeved black turtleneck and secures the collar higher up, a shiver running through him. He shifts and begins fluffing his pillow out, feeling it and checking with himself that it’s positioned as he’d like before he lifts the blanket up and sets it atop himself. He begins to lie down, but keeps himself propped up with his left elbow, his hand resting against his chin to keep his head up. He stares at L until L focuses his attention on him, a blank expression on the pale boy’s face. Light’s frown deepens and he sighs once more, his right hand reaching out to lift the blankets up on L’s side.

“Lie down, now. If you want to try to sleep tonight, you have to do it right.”

L continues looking at him for a few moments before he blinks and glances to the blanket that Light has held up. He straightens his legs out and slips them under, his body wiggling awkwardly down into the blanket as though he were an inch worm. Light’s expression softens to a gentle smile and he releases the blanket, allowing L to adjust it as he’d like. The brunette keeps himself propped up, focused on L as he settles in.

“You’re going to fall asleep tonight. You haven’t slept in a few days.” Light asserts, eliciting an amused chuckle from L.

“You sound so certain of yourself. I can’t promise I’ll be able to fulfill your wish.” L lifts the blankets up over his shoulders, his knees tucked instinctively in and his hands gripping the edge of the fabric. He stares at Light for some moments before he shifts up and moves to flick his lamp off, then promptly settles back into place. Light lets out a soft laugh.

“That should help you. I’m sure I don’t need to guide you on how to fall asleep, do I?”

L’s quiet for a moment, his right thumb moving to press against his lips as he glances up and adjusts to the darkness. “No,” he hums. “That would make me feel like a child.”

“I thought so.” Light settles down onto his pillow, his head snuggling into the soft silk. While he was being held prisoner on the basis of suspicion of being the world’s greatest mass murderer to date, he had to give credit to L for the high-end products and architecture that he decorated and designed the task force’s living quarters with. Their bed was by far the most comfortable thing Light had ever been in, and while it was admittedly a bit small for the two, it was divine to sleep on.

The two lay in silence for five minutes or so before L breaks the quiet with his soft, deep voice, cutting the crisp Winter air and startling Light from drifting off to rest.

“I can’t sleep.”

Light frowns, a tired grumble rumbling in his throat. “You’ve hardly been trying to. It takes the human body 15 minutes to drift off to sleep.”

“I know,” L replies immediately. “And I can’t sleep.” 

“It couldn’t possibly have been 15 minutes.” Light breathes out an annoyed huff. “How can you say you can’t sleep when most people take—"

Light is quickly interrupted. “It feels like it’s been an hour.” L mumbles, the brunette feeling him shift awkwardly under the blanket. Light’s frown deepens. He shivers a bit under the covers, trying to hug the blanket closer to himself in the night.

“Well, keep trying…I can’t really help you there. But you do need to rest.”

L lets out a soft whine before he goes quiet. He finds himself unable to close his eyes over the next ten minutes, and instead focuses on trying to study his companion’s face in the pale moonlight, attempting to learn something from perhaps the way his eyes were closed, or the way his chest rose and fell with his breathing. He couldn’t sleep, so studying  _ how _ one slept was the only thing he could think to do that wouldn’t involve getting up and disturbing Light. Light, however, had been unable to drift off, feeling himself under the watchful eye of the other male. He slowly opens one eye, aware that he would immediately be met with the wide gaze of L’s own dark orbs, before he opens both and scrunches his face up at the boy.

“…Looking at me isn’t going to help you sleep. You have to close your eyes.”

L blinks. “Oh. Right you are.” 

L promptly closes his eyes and attempts to fall asleep, a shiver running through his frail form as he hugs the blanket up over his mouth. Light watches him for a minute or two, expectant that the male would quickly announce defeat and decide to get up for yet another long, sleepless night. However, he kept his eyes closed for long enough that Light felt comfortable shutting his own. In the darkness, the two fell asleep, laying undisturbed and silent in the cool Winter air.

…

A few hours had passed without issue, both boys managing to get some rest until the clock on their nightstands read 3:45 am. It was at that time that L stirred himself awake, exhaustion still lacing his mind, clouding him from being able to accurately perceive anything but the few inches in front of him visible in the night. He shifts himself to sit up on his elbows as he lets out a loud yawn, his right hand raising to his mouth as he does so. He plops carelessly back down and wiggles down into the blanket, only his eyes peeking up as his attention flickers from Light to the open window behind him and the drapes blowing in the wind. Light frowns and shifts a bit, his REM sleep obviously just finishing a cycle by how easily movement in the bed woke him. A tired grumble sounds in his throat and he opens his eyes, squinting, his attention barely focused on L. L stares back for a few seconds before he pokes a hand up and waves to the boy, who whines in response. 

“Can’t… sleep?” He mumbles, still disoriented by the lack of steady rest he’d received.

“Mnhn.” L hums, a shiver running through his body. He watches Light’s eyes flutter open and closed a few times as the brunette tries to stay awake, and he frowns a bit in confused amusement.

“Light, I think I know what would help me sleep more.”

“Mmn..?” Light questions, his shoulders shrugging in the cold. “Shutting up, maybe?”

A playful, but certainly tired, grin spreads weakly across the boy’s lips as he observes L’s attempt to brush the remark off. 

“Ah, maybe, but… It’s cold. You should come here.”

The small smile stays spread across Light’s face, a hint of confusion shone on his face.

“Hm? I’m close enough, aren’t I?”

L blinks a few times, a blank look on his face, before he moves closer to Light. Light, instinctively, pulls back a bit.   


“Ryuzaki, I don’t know if that’ll help... Just put on some extra layers or something.”

“No,” L mutters, his face now a foot or so from Light’s, the two locked in an awkward staring contest for some moments before Light’s attention flickers uncomfortably to the ceiling. “I think this will help. You don’t need to be so embarrassed. I’m cold, and I saw you shiver, too. It wouldn’t be odd to huddle for warmth.” 

Light briefly glances back to him before looking away, an embarrassed and hesitant grumble sounding in his throat. L continues on, attempting to sway the boy into getting into a more comfortable position. 

“Other animals do it all the time. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“You don’t want it to mean something?” Light blurts out, his neck sinking into his shoulders afterwards. He was clearly very tired, and his mind was overtaken with haze. He wasn’t sure what he was saying, but he’d never have feelings for another man, that was for sure. L trying to cuddle with him made him uncomfortable, but it wasn’t offensive. Just embarrassing. L stares at him in dull confusion, his head tilted a bit against the pillow.

“Mn, it has whatever meaning you want it to. For me, it just means I’m cold.”

Light’s frown deepens, his expression a bit annoyed now. “I’m not going to let you use me as some human heater.” He mutters in offense, his nose turning up. 

L lets out a sigh. The other boy was being awfully difficult to reason with. “Do you want it to mean something or do you not, Light? You can’t be hurt over me being hollow with the intention, then take it offensively if it  _ does  _ mean something.” 

An air of silence passes between the two. Annoyed at how long it’s taking and how increasingly colder he’s becoming, L takes it upon himself to snuggle closer to Light, the brunette simply flinching in response to the male wrapping his arms and legs around him and huddling against Light’s chest. Light stays stiff for a few minutes, his mind blurring with a rush of conflicting emotions, before he decides to cope with the situation and embrace it. He hesitantly wraps an arm around L, who lifts his head up to gaze at Light in response.

“Have you stopped your internalized homophobia?”

Light scoffs. “What does  _ that _ mean? That had nothing to do with it.”

“On the contrary…” L pretends to contemplate, his gaze flicking up performatively before he focuses back on Light. “Misa has tried to do similar things, and you don’t seem to get flustered so much as you do annoyed. This seems different.” A sly smile on his face, he watches for the other male’s reaction.

“Listen,” Light immediately retorts, a certain weight to his tone that L simply couldn’t take seriously. “I could just shove you off and turn the other way. But you need to sleep. I’m only going along with this so you’ll get some rest tonight.”

L lets out a half-hearted ‘mhm’ in agreement, clearly not buying what Light is preaching. He nuzzles back into Light’s chest, exhaling slowly as he basks in the odd comfort of another human being. He was never one for physical interaction with other humans. It was usually pointless, and he was always far too absorbed with himself to crave it. But he’d been having odd impulses with Light where he’d crave the physical attention, even if it meant a fist fight with the other. They were unexplainable solely due to the fact that L refused to take the time to contemplate what they could mean. He accepted them as some manifestation of his odd attachment and respect for Light, and that was that. He had no baseline for what different types of emotions meant in social interactions, so he simply had to take himself at face-value.

“…Did you know sleeping together builds trust?” L mumbles, his nose rubbing against Light’s chest, similar to how a cat might express affection. Light lets an amused hum purr behind his lips.

“I did. Is that why you’re really doing this, Ryuzaki? To get me to trust you enough to admit something?” 

“Oh,” L chimes. “A confession would be quite nice. But my intent right now is simply to warm up. … Didn’t I tell you that? We might need this if you don’t trust my word enough.”

Light breathes out a weighted sigh, admitting conversational defeat in refusing to continue speaking. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do, finding himself in an awkward predicament, but he figured fighting it would only prevent the two from getting back to sleep before the sun rose. It was quite cold outside, and the winter air seeping in through the windows, chilling their bodies, encouraged using the temperature as a justification for their positions. L, despite his initially cool-to-touch skin, was rather warm when pressed up against Light. The heat the two were exchanging eased both of them and made it far easier for L to lull himself into a state of drowsiness. The two remain quiet, L’s fingers fiddling slightly with the fabric on Light’s back, attempting to stimulate himself in a soothing manner. In the dark, they were alone. In the silence, neither of them had to deal with the realities of their work, or the true nature of their relationship. Though usually tense and accusatory, the ambiance of the room was filled with a comforting togetherness; one that neither of the boys had felt in their lives. They had time to worry about reconciling their contradictory beliefs about one another in their waking hours. Right now, their silence was safety. It was the turned cheek, it was the blind eye to the motivations behind a crime of passion. It was too real, too genuine for them to face themselves. For now, their masks could remain off. But they both knew, somewhere within them, that the moment they slid out of bed in the morning, the wall between them would once again be erected and the brief glimpses they’d catch of one another from behind it would be obscured by their egos. Tonight was an escape, but one they’d inevitably suffer for.

L lets out a soft, sleepy grumble, as he wiggles his toes a bit under the blanket to warm them. He inhales sharply in, basking in the smell of Light’s clothing. The two lived together, bathed together, and spent all of their time within the same spaces. However, Light still had his own smell to him. It was sharp, with an air of sweetness and elegance to it; something like pinewood and apples. Light, with L in the position that he was in, also took the time to observe L’s own unique scent. It was shockingly innocent. Sugary and light—quite subtle, really, like whipped cream or marshmallows. While it matched the profile of L’s dietary habits, it was a stark contrast to the man himself. 

“Mmmnh…” L sighs out, stretching a bit before tightening his grip around Light’s body. “I may sleep. You’re far more comfortable than the pillows.”

Though not visible in the darkness of their room, a gentle blush spread across Light’s cheeks. He lets out a quiet laugh to diffuse the feeling.

“Am I? That’s good, then.”

“You could be more soothing though, Light.” L leans away from Light’s chest for a moment, his gaze meeting the other boy’s in the pale moonlight. Light’s crown was illuminated by a thin line of silver, his form almost ethereal. It was hard not to get caught in gazing upon him, as though he were a work of art in a museum, or some man of myth birthed into reality. As soon as he lost his train of thought, L found it again, and continued with the other male only vaguely privy to the admiration that L had just uncharacteristically exhibited. The boy’s lips curve up into one of his small smiles. “We’re already like this. It’s okay to do more.”   
Light stares back, his face blank for some moments. The weight of L’s words hitting him, he twitches a little in shock. “Excuse me? I-I’m not like that, Ryuzaki, I’m just trying to help you sleep—”   
L rolls his eyes and sighs. Clearly, his intention hadn’t reached the other. Social interactions were exhausting when the words you said held unnecessary connotations to the people around you. He glances up a little, blowing some tufts of raven hair up and away from his face, as though to motion to them.

“Don’t jump to conclusions. I just mean something to help me relax.”

Truly, that didn’t help. Not in the least bit. Light was tired, and embarrassment only made it harder for him to think. Perhaps it was easy to keep a collected mind with others, and it was quite easy to play their games, but L was not someone he was used to advances with. The emotions he felt now clashed so starkly with his usual feelings towards the detective, and it only blurred his mind further. 

“Ah.” Light musters out, his uncertainty, drowsiness, and embarrassment shone on his face only through an innocent look of confusion on his face. “Like… this?” 

Without enough time or space between them to react, Light leans in closer to L’s face, hesitantly waiting for a split second with his lips hanging above the other’s before he presses them gingerly against L’s. Perhaps out of mutual confusion, perhaps out of his social awkwardness, perhaps out of some profound understanding of exactly what he was doing, L kisses back. The quiet of the room is replaced with the gentle sounds of the two meeting their lips together, both rather confused with the happening, but certainly not fighting it. The hand wrapped around L’s waist trails up to his hair, and settles behind his soft, messy locks, Light’s fingers intertwining amongst them and beginning to comb through them. 

“Mnh,” L moans, stopping and pulling away from Light’s lips. “That.”

Light blinks in confusion. In the dim luminescence of the room, he can trail L’s gaze up to his hair, where Light’s hand is still placed.

“Your… hair?” Light breathes out an awkward laugh. What a horrible miscalculation.   
“Yes.” L purrs, nudging his chin up for a moment to tap the top of his head closer to Light’s fingers. “You jumped to quite the conclusion, Light. It makes me curious if you’d been wanting to do that for a while.”

Though his first instinct is an aggressive defense, Light manages to gather himself enough for a sly retort. “You didn’t seem opposed to it happening. Maybe you’d been wanting that for a while, too.”

A smile spreads across L’s face. “Touché.” He shifts back to position himself at Light’s chest and secures himself tightly around the brunette. 

Light wraps his left arm around L and hugs him closer, his right hand still tangled in his hair. He begins to run his fingers through L’s strands, their texture like silk. He pets the boy into a relaxed state, enjoying the warmth and closeness between the two as his fingers brush L’s hair. To affirm that Light’s hair petting was indeed soothing, L resumed fiddling with the fabric at Light’s back, kneading it with his fingers. He was a bit like a cat, really. It was oddly charming, albeit obnoxious. After a few minutes of silence, L’s fingers slow until they’re no longer moving, and Light can safely assume he’s asleep. He leans back carefully, observing the peaceful resting face of his rival in the pale moonlight. Perhaps some day he would be like this before him, for a different reason. Perhaps he’d never open his eyes again when that time comes. But in this moment, Kira didn’t exist. In this moment, Light had found himself, and concerns about society and investigations were but a distant dream. 

Releasing a solemn sigh, Light leans in and places a gentle kiss on L’s forehead. The other boy shifts in his sleep, frowning slightly before letting out an involuntary hum and nuzzling deeper into Light’s chest. Light hugs him closer once more and flutters his own eyes closed, drifting off shortly after, the two tangled in one another’s arms. 

Nothing good lasts forever. But perhaps, if he were blessed, the memory of tonight would carry Light through whatever the future held for them.  



End file.
